Think twice before reacting aggressively….

Let me set the context of this week’s blog.

A person X is a good-hearted person working in a professional organization who always thinks about the welfare of others (Others will be referred as Y) and does things to ensure they are benefited in some way. But circumstances might force him to take a decision which to some extent may end up doing not so good to Y. This might be because of the professional ethics or discipline or due to the kind of values the person X believes in and certainly not with a bad intention. Now the others will obviously be critical of person X and wouldn’t mind taking out their disappointment in some way or the other. The fact which you need to remember is person X has done good many number of times to Y and situation has forced him to take a decision which goes against the wishes of Y.

Two incidents which happened over the last month made me think on this. One such incident I experienced it while the other my friend underwent in a different context.

A month ago one of my student was pretty upset that I had not given him the required marks to clear the paper in the autonomous exams of VTU. He applied for paper seeing and I made all sorts of effort to convince him that it is just not possible to give marks for the sake of it. As expected he was upset and then lodged an official complaint with the higher authorities that I have been unfair to him and partial to someone else. His allegations were verified and they found it to be untrue. The student then applied for challenge valuation and got less marks than what I had given. Initially I was pretty upset with the behavior of the student for whom I had taught 3 subjects and he didn’t think twice before taking such a step. Later I took it in my stride and decided to ignore this by giving the benefit of doubt to the student. Well I want to assure that student that I won’t act in any vindictive manner :-) It’s a different matter that many from that semester have stopped seeing me face to face :-):-) Its fine with me and I guess many of us are used to these kind of situations in this profession.:-) We are here to do our job and we will do it in a professional way.

I will narrate another incident which my friend underwent. He was close to a family (relative of his) for almost 3 years and they trusted him a lot. And again because of circumstances he had to take a tough decision which resulted in relationship getting strained for a while. After a month or so he again made an attempt to set things right but it was misinterpreted. He was criticized and was never given a proper chance. All the good work of his for almost 3 years got washed away and every action of his was now being scrutinized by one and all.

These two incidents clearly illustrate the fact that irrespective of any number of good things you do for someone, one not so good thing which was unintentional, he or she suddenly becomes bad. I am very sure many have experienced the same.

How would you handle such situation? The more you think about it the more you are going to get perturbed. One can just ignore and get along with it as long as your conscience is clear.

There can be also situations where you are at the other end of it. A higher authority or a relative or a friend might have to take a call which could be of some discomfort to you though he/she might have done many good things to you. I have an advice. Just relax and give it a thought. Think about all the good which that person has done to you. Think from his perspective why he had to take a tough decision now. Bottom line is - think as a whole. The percentage of goods will always be on the higher side. If you loose your cool and react aggressively relationship will not be the same anymore.

No matter in what position you are in just think twice before your decision could spoil a relationship. It takes a lot to build a relation and one can never afford to loose it for a minor incident.