The way our government works..... Mr. Nandan put on bench :-) :-)

I will summarize an article written by Arun Shourie, a former Union minister in the NDA government in his book Governance and the sclerosis that has set in. It points towards how our government bureaucracy works....

In 1999 Jan a bureaucrat in Ministry of Steel had signed in a file. That file went to another officer. He thought something unusual. One has signed in Red and the other in Blue. Is this permissible? What kind of ink color can be used? So he drafted a letter to Administrative reforms and public grievances department posing a question can any other ink be used. The concerned department called a meeting which proved inconclusive and since it was a matter related with the ink the question was posed to department of Printing press. May 99, they met and after a months deliberation they sent it to department of Ministerial staff and training. This process of consulting various departments continued and finally on Aug 5th, 2000, after deliberating the same matter for a period of one and a half years they decided something which hardly matters: based on the cadre the color of ink can be used flexibly. :-) :-) This is a real story which transpired in the government machinery.

Back to 2009...

After our Nandan Nilekani took over as chairman of Unique Identification authority of India, a fun story is circulating in the net. Its an imaginary diary written by Nandan on his first day at the parliament. It goes as follows...

The House was in pin drop silence. I was brimming with anticipation and excitement. Manmohan had informed me that my introduction was one of the important points of the agenda. I hoped that I will be able to make my speech properly. After so many interviews and conferences, I was nervous today.

After the Speaker indicated that the proceedings of the House could begin, Manmohan formally introduced me to the entire House. He mentioned that as the head of the Unique Identification Authority of India, I was responsible to ensure that each and every Indian had a digital smart card as a proof of his existence.

Manmohan spoke about why I was selected and also some references to the various projects executed by me in Infosys were mentioned. The House listened with rapt attention. I was asked to say a few words and I did exactly the same.

I thanked the Government of India for having given me this opportunity and I assured the House that I would strive to successfully deliver this project. The Speaker then formally inducted me into the House. After the lunch break, it was the moment for me. It’s time to give a presentation on the identity project.

I suddenly found that my laptop did not have any reserve power. I went to Manmohan and apprised him of the situation. I was sweating. He calmly replied that this would not be a cause of concern. I was flummoxed!

The Speaker asked me to explain to the House on what were my plans for the Unique Identity Project. I replied that I have a plan and I have presentation to make for which I need a power socket, a projector and a screen. I had no idea what was going to happen after this.

The next couple of minutes were a complete jolt for me. I was completely in a tizzy. Let me just summarize what happened. A Joint Cabinet Secretary Committee was set up to judge the feasibility of my request.

The Under Secretaries for the Ministries of Power, IT and Broadcasting will prepare a Viability Report after scrutinizing National Security threats to my request. This was because the power socket comes under Power Ministry, laptop comes under IT and projector comes under Broadcasting.

I have also been told to reconsider my timelines of 30-60-90 days and start thinking in terms of years. Probably, they are right. I did not have the foresight in this matter.

The summary of the issue is that I need to come up with a more inclusive, democratic, comprehensive long term plan for this project to be executed over the next five years. I have also been given a presentation slot 6 months from now (by which the issues related to the power cord etc will also be resolved).

I am filled with mixed reactions. I was planning for a quick resolution; the management wants a strategic solution. I come out of the House and text Murthy.

You won’t believe it but these guys work just like us. I am on a NATIONAL BENCH for the next three months!!!!!!