Think twice before reacting aggressively….

Let me set the context of this week’s blog.

A person X is a good-hearted person working in a professional organization who always thinks about the welfare of others (Others will be referred as Y) and does things to ensure they are benefited in some way. But circumstances might force him to take a decision which to some extent may end up doing not so good to Y. This might be because of the professional ethics or discipline or due to the kind of values the person X believes in and certainly not with a bad intention. Now the others will obviously be critical of person X and wouldn’t mind taking out their disappointment in some way or the other. The fact which you need to remember is person X has done good many number of times to Y and situation has forced him to take a decision which goes against the wishes of Y.

Two incidents which happened over the last month made me think on this. One such incident I experienced it while the other my friend underwent in a different context.

A month ago one of my student was pretty upset that I had not given him the required marks to clear the paper in the autonomous exams of VTU. He applied for paper seeing and I made all sorts of effort to convince him that it is just not possible to give marks for the sake of it. As expected he was upset and then lodged an official complaint with the higher authorities that I have been unfair to him and partial to someone else. His allegations were verified and they found it to be untrue. The student then applied for challenge valuation and got less marks than what I had given. Initially I was pretty upset with the behavior of the student for whom I had taught 3 subjects and he didn’t think twice before taking such a step. Later I took it in my stride and decided to ignore this by giving the benefit of doubt to the student. Well I want to assure that student that I won’t act in any vindictive manner :-) It’s a different matter that many from that semester have stopped seeing me face to face :-):-) Its fine with me and I guess many of us are used to these kind of situations in this profession.:-) We are here to do our job and we will do it in a professional way.

I will narrate another incident which my friend underwent. He was close to a family (relative of his) for almost 3 years and they trusted him a lot. And again because of circumstances he had to take a tough decision which resulted in relationship getting strained for a while. After a month or so he again made an attempt to set things right but it was misinterpreted. He was criticized and was never given a proper chance. All the good work of his for almost 3 years got washed away and every action of his was now being scrutinized by one and all.

These two incidents clearly illustrate the fact that irrespective of any number of good things you do for someone, one not so good thing which was unintentional, he or she suddenly becomes bad. I am very sure many have experienced the same.

How would you handle such situation? The more you think about it the more you are going to get perturbed. One can just ignore and get along with it as long as your conscience is clear.

There can be also situations where you are at the other end of it. A higher authority or a relative or a friend might have to take a call which could be of some discomfort to you though he/she might have done many good things to you. I have an advice. Just relax and give it a thought. Think about all the good which that person has done to you. Think from his perspective why he had to take a tough decision now. Bottom line is - think as a whole. The percentage of goods will always be on the higher side. If you loose your cool and react aggressively relationship will not be the same anymore.

No matter in what position you are in just think twice before your decision could spoil a relationship. It takes a lot to build a relation and one can never afford to loose it for a minor incident.

Gratitude…. We know what it is but we often forget to express it !!!!!

How can I express my gratitude for all your help?

Gratefulness, appreciation, thankfulness, acknowledgement, recognition, thanks-giving…

We are all pretty much aware of all these things but how often we thank people who have really made our lives better in whatever little way possible is the question which I want to address today.

Let me be consider what I have done on this. Well the answer in terms of percentage is very negligible.

Most of us have seen Autograph movie which has come in all south Indian regional languages. It was an interesting subject which touched many and no wonder it did well at the box office. I happened to see that movie again and it made me think.
I went into a shell and listed out few personalities who have had a positive influence on me in some way or the other. It included my relatives, my school teachers, my friends, my colleagues, my students and many more. And then from that list I started checking how many of them I have thanked for all their contribution in some way or the other. And as mentioned earlier the percentage was very negligible.

Then I thought how I would feel if someone on whom I had a positive impact would write a thanks-giving letter to me. Well it is obvious I would be elated and treasure that letter. And I have treasured those since I joined this profession and big thanks for those who have given. I don’t think many would disagree to this observation of mine. It certainly makes you feel good. And am not talking about someone praising you for the sake of it or with some other intentions. A genuine thanks-giving or expression of gratitude is what I am referring to.

I decided to express my gratitude to all those individuals who have had an influence in shaping my life. The list which I referred was endless. I couldn’t do this at one go. I felt the need to clearly specify in what way they had helped me and thank them for the same.

I have taken a pledge that I will take up this task twice a month - A thanking letter to two individual or two entities for their contribution. As part of this initiative this month I have decided to write a letter to my school St. John’s Boys High School, Mandya where I studied from LKG to Tenth standard. I tried to recollect all the faculty members of the school and I was pleased that I could do a good job of recollecting. Many are still working there and you won’t believe they still remember you and what you were as a student. Hats off to them.

I agree that nobody expects gratitude of this kind but i believe if it comes they would certainly be happy. I know many might think why I am writing these things which are personal in nature. Well I would be glad if after reading this blog if at least one of them does this. Trust me friends it will be an interesting exercise and you will certainly feel good recollecting those good old days and thanking them in some way.

Giving life to someone

Life is precious. We all are aware of it. There are millions of people who are struggling to lead life because of want of organs and kidney tops the list. In recent years there has been effort to create the awareness on organ donation but not on a scale where it could make a huge difference to many struggling lives.

I happen to read a story of a 19-year-old engineering student from Jharkhand studying at NITTE college of Engineering(NMIT), Bangalore, who has in her death given a new life to a patient on dialysis.

She was brought to MS Ramaiah Memorial Hospital on March 2 in a critical state with sudden loss of consciousness. She was diagnosed to have massive intra cranial bleeding which prompted immediate surgery to remove the blood clot and decompress the brain as an emergency.

However in spite of all the efforts, the doctors suggested that there were nil chances of her survival. She was declared brain dead. Therefore, after the consent of the family members for multi-organ donation, her organs (two kidneys, a liver and two eyes) were donated.

A resident of Vijayanagar who was diagnosed with an end stage kidney disease and had been on dialysis since June 2009, got a new lease of life after he received the cadaver donor’s kidney from M S Ramaiah Hospital. The kidney was transplanted to him at BGS Global Hospital. The girl’s liver was sent to Christian Medical college, Vellore. Her eyes have been sent to Minto Eye Hospital, to help patient in need of them. Hats off to her parents who took this decision.

Most of the deaths in India do reach a stage of Brain Dead. Brain dead patients can donate kidneys, liver, eyes whereas normal dead patients can only donate eyes and bone marrow.

Brain death is a legal indicator of death that refers to the irreversible end of all brain activity (including involuntary activity necessary to sustain life) due to total necrosis of the cerebral neurons following loss of blood flow and oxygenation. An organ transplant is the moving of an organ from one body to another or from a donor site on the patient's own body, for the purpose of replacing the recipient's damaged or absent organ. Organs that can be transplanted are the heart, kidneys, liver, lungs, pancreas, intestine, thymus, and skin. Tissues include bones, tendons, cornea, heart valves, and veins. Worldwide, the kidneys are the most commonly transplanted organs. [Taken from Wikipedia]

At least 2,00,000 people in India need kidney transplantation every year. But, roughly, one per cent (2000 patients) receive the organ for the transplant.

What could be more gratifying for you and your closed ones when your organs can give life to a struggling person. You may not be there to see the organ transplant but the fact that you will be giving life to someone will definitely make you proud. I just want to make an appeal to take a pledge to donate your organs after your death and also make an effort to educate the elders and relatives to donate multiple organs in case of brain dead or dead. You can go to a local hospital and pledge your eyes to begin with. Life is indeed precious. Please do consider it.